Shepherd's Follow

Victory

Sat, 05 Jan 2013 14:28:00 -0500

We usually think of victory and success as a lack of disappointment, no failure, no mistakes, no stumbling. It’s easy to see why; we live in a culture that is soaked in media recognition: from sports, celebrities, to famous entrepreneurs… we see these people as our model for success. All we see is the fame, the money, the ease of life. We neglect to think of the struggle, the strife, the failure.

See, now this is where the world and the Bible are completely at odds on this concept (well duh, the world is captivated by the lies of satan). The world views failures as weakness; and weakness is automatically rejected, written off, disgraced. Let me tell ya, that is the complete opposite of the gospel.

By associating victory with success, not making mistakes, and no room for error… we have missed it. We attempt to go on our own way, and that will always lead us down a destructive path. It is through problems and failures, weakness and neediness that you learn to rely on the Lord.

This complete dependence and reliance is a faithful walk, taken one step at a time, leaning on the Lord. This is not a path that is full of continual success but of MULTIPLE failures (in my case… ASTRONOMICAL amounts of failures). BUT, but but; here is the joy… each failure is followed by a growth spurt…hallelujah!

These growth spurts are nourished and cultivated by an increase in reliance on the Holy Father. That is a true victory, true success. To know that we are guaranteed failures and promised weaknesses, oh the freedom! To have God walk us, lead us, and guide us? Sounds like a victory that is already won to me…

“For we walk by faith, not by sight.” 2 Corinthians 5:7

"“The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want” Psalm 23:1 Sheep aren’t smart...."

Tue, 27 Nov 2012 23:05:51 -0500

“

“The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want” Psalm 23:1

Sheep aren’t smart. They tend to wander into running creeks for water, then their wool grows heavy and they drown. They need a shepherd to lead them to “calm water” (Psalm 23:2). They have no natural defense- no claws, no horns, no fangs. They are helpless. Sheep need a shepherd with a “rod and… walking stick” (Psalm 23:4) to protect them. They have no sense of direction. They need someone to lead them “on paths that are right” (Psalm 23:3).
So do we. We, too, tend to be swept away by waters we should have avoided. We have no defense against the evil lion who prowls about seeking whom he might devour. We, too, get lost.
We need a shepherd. We need a shepherd to care for us and to guide us. And we have one. One who knows us by name.

”

- Max Lucado: Grace for the Moment, Volume 1

Drowning in Grace

Wed, 31 Oct 2012 00:08:51 -0400

I am always baffled at the concept of grace. My mind is so trained to require perfection; for myself and others. We really don’t see the extension of grace much, and when there is, the feeling of entitlement, that it was deserved typically comes to the forefront… at least it does for me in my sinful heart. I also forget that grace is the CENTER of the gospel. It’s the foundation, the cornerstone, the reason that we’re offered salvation.

Recently I got engaged to the cutest man of all time. He is absolutely adorable, loves the Lord, makes me laugh, means the world to me… and is far from perfect. He has hurt my feelings (visa versa, on everything I will mention. I’ll go ahead and preface that), frustrated me, and disappointed me. But I still love him. I love that boy more than words can ever describe. It isn’t a feeling, it’s not because he is perfect, or because he does everything that I want/think he should do. I have decided to make a commitment to him despite all of these things, because they just don’t matter. He can’t earn any of my love and he can’t take it away… my feelings towards him may change from time to time (anger, joy, etc), but my love for him is unwavering. So what does this have to do with grace?

No human being has ever been perfect (shocker I know). Except for the man who was fully God and fully man. He was perfect so that we DON’T HAVE TO BE, because WE NEVER WILL BE. No one. Ever. Like… ever will be perfect. So that’s where this beauty called grace comes in.

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith- and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God- not by works, so that no one can boast. - Ephesians 2:8-9

HELLLLOOO GOSPEL. I read this verse and I think it is one of the most concise, yet richest verses in all of scripture. It describes the gospel so perfectly.

Ok, so God, you’re telling me that it doesn’t matter what I do… I will never do anything to really “impress” you so much to accept me into heaven, but I also can’t mess up my salvation once I get it? I don’t have to start all over again if I lie, cheat… I don’t have to start over trying to earn salvation? Literally, I don’t have to do anything to earn salvation? To earn your love, I do nothing (this ain’t what the world is preachin’ thats for sure)? Lord you must be crazy. If you really knew me, you wouldn’t want me… wait you do? Wow, you really are crazy…. no… HE IS LOVE.

To think that the Lord, the Creator, the Alpha and Omega, the Savior, the infinite, all powerful, almighty God will take me? Loves me? Oh. My. Word. I can’t even begin to express the gratitude and joy that I have in my heart when I think about this. I even think about how my fiance (eeeeek #girlmoment) could even love me?! Bless him, bless that poor man’s soul! But that’s the only way that we really can love each other… is through grace. If we are constantly concerned about what the other does in order to earn our love, they will never, NEEEVVA, come close. And if God was concerned with what we could/could not do for Him, in order for Him to love us… well homeskillet, we are shoot outta luck.

Isaiah 6 describes the prophet Isaiah’s reaction as he encounters the Lord, and it’s purely epic. You would think that Isaiah’s first reaction would be to start clapping, worshiping, or just celebrating the fact that He is in the presence of God in the temple… but NO. What does he do? He immediately falls to his knees and begins to cry out as to how unworthy he is! And what does God do? Atones for his sin. Forgets it. Forgives it. Gives him grace. LOVES him, with the only true love their is. God’s love and through grace.

It’s easy to see that Isaiah understood. He understood that his wretched heart deserved hell. But God had offered him freedom. God had extended His almighty hand and offered up the gift of salvation by His grace. Lord I pray I get it someday. I pray that I soak of the grace that you have to offer. That we extend the grace to others, and when we receive it we turn our hearts to gratitude and flee from self righteousness. Teach us to abide in that grace. To live in it. To absolutely DROWN in that grace, so that the only we can live is through You.

You know… John Newton had it right when he wrote one of the most famous hymns of all time. It really is Amazing Grace. It is sweet. It has truly saved a wretch like me. I have been set free.

“And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.” 1 Peter 5:10

"“Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and he shall sustain thee.” — Psalm 55:22 Care, even though..."

Mon, 10 Sep 2012 21:04:00 -0400

“

“Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and he shall sustain thee.”
— Psalm 55:22

Care, even though exercised upon legitimate objects, if carried to excess, has in it the nature of sin. The precept to avoid anxious care is earnestly inculcated by our Saviour, again and again; it is reiterated by the apostles; and it is one which cannot be neglected without involving transgression: for the very essence of anxious care is the imagining that we are wiser than God, and the thrusting ourselves into his place to do for him that which he has undertaken to do for us. We attempt to think of that which we fancy he will forget; we labour to take upon ourselves our weary burden, as if he were unable or unwilling to take it for us. Now this disobedience to his plain precept, this unbelief in his Word, this presumption in intruding upon his province, is all sinful. Yet more than this, anxious care often leads to acts of sin. He who cannot calmly leave his affairs in God’s hand, but will carry his own burden, is very likely to be tempted to use wrong means to help himself. This sin leads to a forsaking of God as our counsellor, and resorting instead to human wisdom. This is going to the “broken cistern” instead of to the “fountain;” a sin which was laid against Israel of old. Anxiety makes us doubt God’s lovingkindness, and thus our love to him grows cold; we feel mistrust, and thus grieve the Spirit of God, so that our prayers become hindered, our consistent example marred, and our life one of self-seeking. Thus want of confidence in God leads us to wander far from him; but if through simple faith in his promise, we cast each burden as it comes upon him, and are “careful for nothing” because he undertakes to care for us, it will keep us close to him, and strengthen us against much temptation. “Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on thee, because he trusteth in thee.”

”

- Spurgeon, C. H. (2006). Morning and evening : Daily readings (Complete and unabridged; New modern edition.). Peabody, MA: Hendrickson Publishers.

From the Inside Out by Hillsong, cover by Fox and the Hounds ...

Tue, 28 Aug 2012 19:52:00 -0400

From the Inside Out by Hillsong, cover by Fox and the Hounds

My prayer is this: Lord, let the words of this song be woven into my soul. Let me give you control, consume me, let me praise You, and to love you from the inside out. Amen.

“Make a joyful noise to the Lord, all the earth! Serve the Lord with gladness! Come into his presence with singing!” Psalm 100:1-2

So it's been a while...

Mon, 27 Aug 2012 03:14:49 -0400

So it’s been exactly that… a while. It’s hard to believe all that has happened. However, I have seen the Lord’s provision through it all. From event to event, friendship to friendship, place to place… oh how I have seen His hand interwoven. God’s intricacy and love humbles my prideful heart, and has it bursting at the seems with gratitude.

This bestie got ENGAGED. Her relationship with Christ, and her now fiance’, are such a blessing to me. I am speechless and teary eyed thinking about the blessing she has been to me and the life that is ahead of her.

Worked beside these two goobs all summer. Great men, no candle to someone I know (oops I said it), but a blessing to learn and work with these two.

Jackjack officially left for Greece a few days ago. I can’t believe she will be there for a YEAR. Good glory. This girl is such a gift from the Lord to all she meets. I can only imagine the ministry she is going to have over there. I stinkin’ miss her sweet, tender, meek, and compassionate heart already.

Annnnnd, I can’t believe it, but I am moving to the land of WPS. Yep, that’s right. Gonna be in Fayetteville, Arkansas. Still trying to wrap my mind around the fact that I am moving to a place where basketball isn’t king and they call “hogs”. The Lord has been evident, faithful, and clear in this move; both in the location/people… :-). I will forever remain a Jayhawk, this I am sure of.

These past few summer months have been indescribable. I have experienced more sanctification than ever before. I have woken up with zero strength of my own, had sleepless nights, and many a moments of tears. But it’s all for His purpose. I have come to realize this life is more about my holiness than my happiness. He brings happiness and joy, but through His Son being my sufficiency. More to come on this, but for now… embracing the sanctification process… and for the first time, content in the fact that this is His will.

“It is God’s will that you should be sanctified…” 1 Thessalonians 4:3a

Romans: God's Righteousness Revealed

Sun, 25 Mar 2012 23:36:35 -0400

It’s the greatest commentary in Scripture. It outlines virtually all aspects of the gospel. It was written to a nation that mysteriously received the gospel. The book was written by a man who had been radically transformed; a man who understood the good news and desired to have all understand who God is and the Gift that he had freely given.

It all began when Saul, who we know now as Paul, was converted. He was a Jewish man who was persecuting those who believed, when he was suddenly converted by the ascended Jesus himself. This set the stage for Paul to set out on his journey to preach the good news through a series of missionary journeys. Towards the end of his third missionary journey, Paul wrote a book called Romans. Possibly the greatest commentary on overall aspects of the Gift given to all. This book goes through key concepts and arguments, and Paul’s style of writing to the Gentiles, but also the Jews is heartfelt.

The progression of topics throughout Romans is done so well for the organized/analytical minds like me (with the exception of a couple chapters… to be discussed later…). It begins with Paul declaring that he is UNASHAMED of the gospel (Romans 1:16-17). Notice that it says that he is unashamed of the gospel that is offered to both the Jew and the Gentile. This was Paul’s huge point throughout this entire book (other than salvation of course). He was called to minister to the Gentiles, but Paul, being a Jew, has a heart for the Jewish people and desires for them to understand that this is a gift to all. Therefore he is unashamed of the gospel that is free to all who will accept it. After declaring that he is unashamed, he goes into to the fact that we are CONDEMNED. We are worthless. We are nothing, we just kinda suck. First glance, kinda a downer. But Paul uses this to build up justification which is the next theme that he discusses. Paul goes into describing that we are all JUSTIFIED because of Christ. God sees Christ through us, if we accept Him, and therefore we are completely justified in sin because of His death and resurrection. However, this justification is not to be taken for granted. Yes, we are justified/seen as new/perfect in His eyes, but that does not mean that we are not without sin. Paul then moves into SANCTIFICATION. He describes that this is a process! We must understand that we are sinners, every single one of us, but through Christ we can, overtime, seek more freedom from sin until we reach glorification in which we are free from it completely. Sanctification is living life; it’s hard, stinking hard sometimes, but all things are done to strengthen our faith in Him and to love Him even more.

Paul has a fairly easy flow up until this point (around chapter 9). This next section is about Israel, and this is the part in which we see Paul’s heart for ALL to understand this. He goes into describing the fact that Israel is still the chosen land and people of God. They have the history, they will be restored, but they must not be ignorant to the gift that is front of them. Paul of course has a heart for Israel, because, as stated before, HE WAS A JEW. This is so important for us to remember as we follow Christ; Israel is still God’s chosen people and He has a plan for them, just as He had a plan to save us.

Finally Paul brings us to a close starting in chapter 12. Until the end of the book Paul goes into APPLICATION of our faith, until his concluding remarks. The beauty of these last few chapters is that Paul, continuing in his writing style of asking questions then answering them himself, emphasizes the fact that we have to apply our faith. We can believe all we want, but we are not TRUE servants if we are not applying what Christ has done to our own lives (examples can be our speech, our sexual purity, fulfill the Great Commission, etc). Faith without works is dead (James 2:14).

The purpose of Romans is to encourage believers; to push on towards eternity, to make disciples, and to build one another in the faith. Through this, we see God’s righteousness, His perfection, His mercy, His generosity, His wrath, His LOVE. Yes, we are to know this: God is good, He has given a free gift to all; and we NEED it. We are nothing without Him, but made to be everything in Him. How beautiful it is…

“I long to see you so that I may impart to you some spiritual gift to make you strong— that is, that you and I may be mutually encouraged by each other’s faith.” Romans 1:11-12

I walked where He walked. I swam where He swam. I rode a...

Thu, 08 Mar 2012 16:46:08 -0500

Inside the Tomb

Caesarea

Prayers stuffed in the Western Wall

View on Mount of Olives

Olives in the Garden of Gethsemene

View from Masada (stronghold)

By the Sea of Galilee

Mount of Beatitudes

Capharnaum

Bethsaida (feeds the 5000)

I walked where He walked. I swam where He swam. I rode a boat where He walked on water. I sat in the street where He was flogged. I read His prayers in the Garden where He prayed them. I was baptized where He was baptized. I stood on the Mount where He where He ascended and where He will return. I went into the tomb where He ascended.

The sun shined, it rained, it snowed. There were mountains, lush lands, desert hills, the terrain was indicative of great Craftsmanship.

I wept over the lost. I heard the call to prayer for the Muslims go off 5 times a day in Jerusalem and it broke my heart. I saw the reality of the Western Wall. I ate with Orthodox Jews. I saw the lost, but yet the beauty in this country.

It’s easy to see how this is the Holy Land. It’s easy to see why God chose this land. How sweet it is to have seen this place. The Bible has come alive. The land is lost, but the Lord is still sovereign. He will return. Scripture is alive, the Lord is alive and active. I have just now had time to reflect on this since I have left the land of the Lord. My heart is beginning to come alive like never before because of seeing this land. The revelation is only beginning.

“Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one” Deuteronomy 6:4

Already Filled

Thu, 23 Feb 2012 17:31:00 -0500

One of my greatest struggles in life is anxiety. I struggle with this sometimes so much that it is debilitating. This is not of the Lord. I know that it is isn’t, but yet I still tell myself too often that it is. I cling to my anxiety because I am a sinner, and sin is unfortunately what is familiar. I cling to what I know and am constantly led into a battle with my flesh, which is wired for anxiety. I hate it, I hate the sin, I hate the state that it puts me in, and I hate that I am completely distracted from the Lord. I don’t trust that God that works in every part of my life and does not communicate with anxiety because He is just the opposite of that. And because He has the opposite of that, He has a Spirit that intercedes for me.

The Holy Spirit is: Counselor (John 14:26), truth (John 16:13), Comforter (John 14:16), our Helper (Romans 8:26), He is our Sanctifier (Romans 15:16), He testifies on my behalf (Romans 5:16), and He convicts (John 16:8)… and so much more. Upon accepting Christ, the Holy Spirit dwells in us. We are filled with the Spirit from that point on, but we can still refuse and quench the Spirit. I do this all to often. I convince myself that the Spirit brings upon my anxiety because something isn’t “right”. Oh how wrong I am. The Holy Spirit does not bring upon anxiety, but it can use it in order to draw me closer to the Lord. It uses Christ’s death and resurrection to assure me of my salvation, and the sovereignty and love of the Father. The Spirit Counsels, Helps, Guides, and Convicts me through difficult situations in order that I a may have life. I am filled with the Spirit: it never ceases to fill me, it never leaves me, it just guides me to difficult situations in order to bring in closer communication with God.

Through knowing all of this, I know what I must do. I must think of what God is. The Holy Spirit has placed this on my heart, He has filled me. The Spirit desires to see me trust in the Lord and to have faith. My anxieties are not of Him, but they can be used by Him. I cannot expect to “feel” the Spirit, but I must trust. The Spirit will not lead me astray or outside of God’s will. The Spirit desires to see me prosper and to glorify the Lord, and in order to do this it must bring me to brokenness… to my knees. I cannot see the Spirit, but I must trust that the work is there. The Spirit is a Counselor, a Helper, a Guide, He testifies for Me, He intercedes for me, He convicts me of my sin, He is good. He is good, and I have an inexpressible joy knowing this.

“Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy.” 1 Peter 1:8

Acknowledgement vs. Authority Do I acknowledge the Lord?...

Mon, 13 Feb 2012 17:44:21 -0500

Authority: fix our eyes on Him

Gaze upon the blessings

Craftsmanship unmatched

Acknowledgement vs. Authority

Do I acknowledge the Lord? Yes. Do I know that He works all things for good, therefore His glorification? Yes. Do I admit that I am serving a God that is high above all else? Yes. BUT, do I give Him complete authority over my life, my heart, my mind, my body, and my soul in order that I may learn true submission, servanthood, and give Him all the glory? NO.

There are areas in which my life I refuse to give the Lord complete authority over. I say that I desire to and even that I have, yet I still worry, fear, and follow my flesh. Why? I acknowledge that His Son came to die for me. I acknowledge that I am a follower of Christ. I acknowledge that the Lord is over all. I acknowledge Him, proclaim His name, and study His word. Yet I don’t live it.

I neglect His craftsmanship, shut my eyes to His blessings, wallow in suffereings instead of rejoicing, curse Him when I seem to be lost, turn away from Him when I don’t want to know the truth, and worst of all… I don’t give Him complete authority.

Lord I desire to give you complete authorship of my life. You have my soul, but teach me how to give you my whole heart, my full trust. To know that you provide, you are good, you are all I will ever need. Open my heart to be crafted by your perfect craftsmanship.

“Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God” Hebrews 12:2

ACTing on the Spirit

Fri, 03 Feb 2012 11:55:00 -0500

Spirit, come. Fill my heart and let it overflow. I ask once more that you come, Holy Spirit! I need your guidance. I am lost without you. I can do nothing on my own, but yet I try to every moment of everyday. I ask that you soften my heart to allow you to move within me like never before. I desire to give up my selfishness and walk in accordance with you. I desire for your work to be done, not mine, but all I seem to do is mine! Forgive me Lord. Holy Spirit move in ways that are unfathomable and help me to recognize that it is all your doing, not some silly coincidence. Spirit protect me. Guide me in the path heading upward. Spirit, I desire for you to not just dwell in me, but for me to utilize you to the fullest; therefore, to nothing out of my selfish ambition and to be aware of what you are doing. Hear me God, please hear me. Continue to do a work in me, I know that it may be painful, but do a work in me. I desire to give you my whole heart, help me to do that and to watch your Spirit work.

Here’s some vulnerability (that I usually never let on to). That is one my prayers from earlier this week. Yep, one of my prayers from my journal, that I absolutely HATE sharing because it shows my weakness (ok make that weaknesses).

For the past month or so I had been in such a valley in my relationship with the Lord. The valley seemed so impossible to begin climbing out of. Every time I would try, I would fall right back in. But that was exactly the point, “I”, was trying to get out of the pit. I was not walking with the Spirit at all. I wasn’t just not walking with him, I wasn’t even allowing the Spirit to live within me. I was pushing him out of my heart daily and was competing for control. Well, that obviously turned out so nicely. Ok, so that was sarcasm, but in all honesty I look back and it really did. God heard me, as He always does, and answered my prayer in way that, once again, I was not expecting.

This week’s class was devoted to studying the book of Acts. I had read some of Acts before, but I had never read through the entire thing, let alone studied it. I knew that Peter and Paul were two major “dudes” in starting the church and spreading it to all nations, but that was exactly the problem. Peter and Paul were gifted men no doubt, but they are no god. The book of Acts is about spreading the gospel to the nations, but it is saturated in the power of the Holy Spirit.

We first see the Holy Spirit come about on the day of Pentecost. Jesus had ascended and then returned to reveal himself to the disciples, then when He went to up to sit at the right hand of the Father, the Holy Spirit came upon the disciples. And when I say the Holy Spirit came to the disciples, it didn’t just delicately knock. Oh no, “a sound like the blowing of a violent wind came from heaven and filled the whole house where they were sitting. They saw what seemed to be tongues of fire that separated and came to rest on each of them. All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other tongues as the Spirit enabled them” (Acts 2:2-4). Holy cow, what a VISION. I can’t even begin to fathom the power that came into the house, all I can fathom is the face I would have made had I seen it (not a pretty face). By the Holy Spirit coming, these men were then enabled to go out and preach the good news, and they did just that. However, THEY did not do it. The Holy Spirit did. The entire book of Acts goes through several journey’s in which men and women are converted, Jew, Samaritan, and Gentile, all because of the Holy Spirit’s work through the men who believed.

The guidance that the Spirit has is displayed beautifully throughout the book. There were times in which Paul wanted to travel to a specific area, but was lead to another because of the Spirit, salvation was offered to all, not just the Jew, it struck men dead who cursed it, and it moved in the hardest of hearts. Paul, the hardest of hearts was converted because of the power of the Holy Spirit. And when men and women came to know Christ, the Spirit came and dwelled within them. The same happens today, the people in Acts experienced the same Holy Spirit that we are blessed with today. Oh, the emotions that this brings up in my heart.

I can’t even begin to explain the gratefulness with in my soul when I think about the fact that the same, yes the SAME, Holy Spirit that empowered Paul to be one of the most passionate, bold, and loving followers of Christ, lives in me! This nearly brings me to tears thinking about the love from Above that is constantly poured out on me. But knowing this also brings about sadness within my heart. I have this same Spirit living inside of me since I accepted Christ, but I don’t utilize it. I have Niagara Falls at my disposal and I use a droplet coming from a broken faucet. This directly affects the way that I seek Christ and walk with the Spirit (or don’t).

Walking in accordance with the Spirit is one of the most difficult things for my heart to desire. I don’t know why, but it has always been! But that is no excuse! Especially after reading Acts. These men were no different than me, but they utilized the Spirit. They gave up of themselves and allowed the Spirit to guide in all areas of their lives. This has been a constant prayer of mine, and is even more so since studying Acts. The Spirit is the same, but it is my unfaithfulness that fights it. Reading about the power of the Spirit has placed a fire in my heart like never before. The Spirit made the impossible possible, it converted the unconvertible, the Spirit empowered the powerless, and it humble the most prideful. Oh how I need the Spirit. I can do nothing on my own, except fall. My prayer remains, that I can be softened to the work of the Spirit and to walk in accordance with it. Because I am no different than these men and the Spirit is the same, unchangeable. I pray that one of my greatest desires can be to let the Spirit work in my heart the way it did in those men. Not for selfish gain, but for the molding, chiseling, humility, brokenness, and to further of the good news.

While on his missionary journey’s Paul wrote letters to churches for encouragement, correcting, and how to stay strong in the faith. Paul’s first letter, was Galatians written to the area of Galatia. He wrote it because they were falling into their fleshly desires. Paul prays that we can live by the Spirit, to be sensitive to the Spirit. Oh the richness that this possesses. Lord, I pray that I can learn to walk with the Spirit.

“Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.” Galatians 5:25

There is such beauty in simplicity. I often neglect this....

Tue, 17 Jan 2012 17:06:00 -0500

Sunflowers are my fave for a reason

Sonflowers

Revelation 22:20

Perfection

There is such beauty in simplicity. I often neglect this. I become so anxious about every little thing. When I say everything, I mean EVAAARREEETHANNNG. Since being hear, I have learned how much I use this anxiety as a crutch.

Neglecting the simple fact of my salvation is the root of this anxiety I am almost certain. I have become so caught up in knowing as much as head knowledge as I possibly can. I’ve deceived myself into thinking that if I know more, then I will love God more. Oh have I lost the head-heart connection! I have failed to recognize that loving God is about LOVING God.

When I seek first His kingdom and His righteousness (Matthew 6:33), I also seek others out, seek out His will, seek out relationships, care for others more deeply, and care for myself more deeply. It is such a simple realization, I know, but oh how beautiful it has been to have this revelation through struggles. I have been in this anxious state for far too long, and I’ve had just about enough.

In order to seek the Lord, I know that for my heart… I am going to have often search else where than just Scripture. This is not a knock on the Word by any means, but I tend to read that to gain knowledge… and it can be dangerous for my soul if I am not careful. For me to seek Him, I look at simplicity. The simplicity of the gifts that He has given us:

Sunflowers: I can learn so much from them… they look to the sun, always. They flourish in fields, they grow together. When the sun goes down, they hide their faces… Why don’t I look at the Son, always? And when I sense darkness coming, seek the Light? The simplicity of this flower, but yet the complexity, divinity, and blessing it is. Oh how I wish I was more like a sunflower, a Sonflower is what I wish to be. Lord, teach me to be a Sonflower, to set my eyes on you, to flee from darkness, to flourish within the body. Papa, I want to set my eyes on your Son.

“For my Father’s will is that everyone who looks to the Son and believes in Him shall have eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day.” John 6:40

Trinity... oh boy

Fri, 13 Jan 2012 00:03:58 -0500

When I think about the simple things in life, the following typically come to mind: sunflowers, friendships/family, peanut m&m’s, birkenstocks, and the Trinity. Correction, one of those doesn’t belong. Here’s a hint, it’s not a food, no human has been able to explain it, and it involves the most powerful eternal Being. Did you figure it out? Well in case you didn’t, it’s the… Trinity! Ok, so that was an extremely sarcastic way to start this out, but I figured that there needed to be some light-heartedness with this topic, because let’s face it, the Trinity is not the most “light-hearteded” concept. But oh the richness that it possesses.

In the past, discussing the Trinity often made me shy away from conversation (which is rare in itself). Part of my desire to avoid the topic was because I cannot explain it. After these past few days of class, I don’t think that I can explain it by any means, I won’t be able to perfectly explain it ever. But after these few days, there were at least various facts that I can hopefully use to form a base.

The Trinity consists of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit; 3 Persons, existing as one. All are God, but all are separate. Each of these Persons are all God, they are not individually God, however, all are equally God. Make sense? Great! End of blog post. Alright so that is not really the end, but I think you can see how this can get quite fuzzy. It gets even crazier knowing that there is not one piece of Scripture that directly explains or gives evidence to the doctrine of the Trinity. There are particular verses that elude to it and are adamant on the interconnection between each Persons and the oneness of God as well. All of this fascinates me, but one of the parts that intrigued me the most Jesus the man and the Son of God.

Jesus is not eternal, but the Son of God is. Jesus is simply the name for the man that came to earth as God; he was fully God, yet fully man. He was divine, yet human. But the Son of God was the Word that was in the beginning (John 1:1-2), the one who was there with the Father and the Holy Spirit in creating the earth (Genesis 1:26, 3:22). It’s incredible to think about the fact that the Trinity has been in existence the whole time, but it wasn’t revealed to man until after Jesus’ resurrection. We can see hints to the Trinity, yet an emphasis on one God throughout the entire Old Testament. As stated before, Genesis 1:26 and 3:22 state “us” when discussing the creation of the world and knowing good and evil. The Hebrew word for God used in this text is “Elohim”. And Elohim denotes the aspect of the plurality with the Trinity. But it must also be known that this does not mean that there are gods, but this can be used to assume the idea of Trinitarianism. The Old Testament can also back up the Trinity in that it explicitly states that there is no other Lord (Isaiah 45:6; 18).

One of the greatest things that I take away from gaining a greater perspective on the Trinity is the continual emphasis on the eternality of it. Just because the Trinity was revealed in the New Testament, does not mean that it has not been in formation from the beginning. The Trinity is God, and God was in the beginning and God will be in the end. However, how blessed we are to personally know the 3 Persons in One. And how blessed we are to know the gift that it brings, as well as the idea that we will continue to get to know the Lord throughout all eternity. We serve a big God, so big that I will never fully understand this Trinity, and for eternity… ETERNITY, I will never fully understand His vastness. If I could, He wouldn’t be God would He? Yes, we serve a BIG God.

“… chosen according to the foreknowledge of God the Father, through sanctifying work of the Spirit, for obedience to Jesus Christ and sprinkling by his blood…” 1 Peter 1:2

Gaining ProPHet

Sat, 17 Dec 2011 23:45:36 -0500

The semester is over, I’m sorry, what? The semester is over? I literally feel like I was just beginning this whirlwind of journey, and it’s already half way over. It’s hard to believe that about 3 months ago, I did not want to be doing what I am doing today. I was absolutely terrified; I was terrified of being broken.

I can’t even begin to explain the brokenness that’s happened this semester within my heart, but simultaneously how good it has been. I have been confronted with sin that I have never even begun to explore before this point in my life. I have also felt as if I was drinking out of fire hose at times with the amount of information that has been offered my way. I won’t go into all of the brokenness that’s been in my heart… for now, but I will say that never in my life have I enjoyed learning more about Scripture and how applicable it is for eternity than in this period of my life. This is the coolest thing for me to finally allow to set in: stories in Scripture happened, but they help us draw nearer to the Lord. I know this may seem like such an elementary thought, but letting this dwell within my heart is incredible. One of the most incredible things that I have learned is also how to use Scripture to help others, especially those who are maybe struggling with difficult situations in their lives. A wonderful way to help those struggling with specific concepts can be to point them to the prophets.

Confession time: I’m a huge nerd. Now, you may be asking yourself “What in the world does being a nerd have to do with anything that you have just mentioned”? Well, to answer your question, it has everything to do with it! We have recently been learning about Old Testament Prophets, and I am a total nerd for them. I am one of the most factual individual’s, I love to study and learn, and most off all I always want to know everything about everything. This can often be a struggle for me, in that I catch myself falling in love with Theology instead of Jesus, but I will say that these past few weeks have been incredible for helping that sin.

As I mentioned before, I have always struggled with wanting to know all of the facts and to simply fill my brain up with all the facts. These past few weeks revealed that there is so much more to just “the facts”. For me, it is important to know the background of Biblical things, but the application process is just as important. As we began studying these prophets, I was able to see how practical they really are. Once again, I know that this may seem like such a naïve thought, but my mind was blown with how important these dudes were! Daniel in chapter 9 predicts the coming of a Messiah to the day, how people don’t just get their minds blown I don’t know! On top of Daniel some of the other prophets are great to take people to when they are struggling with specific aspects of their lives. For example, someone who may be trying to grasp salvation and how it is available to all, Jonah is a great book to take them to. The Assyrians were nasty people, flat out mean, but God sent Jonah there to deliver the message of the Father. This is a wonderful book in showing Jonah’s flesh in that he even doubts why he is even going to a place such as this because the people are so evil that there is no way that they can attain salvation, but once again God has a different plan. Another book to show to someone who may be dealing with the idea of suffering, Habakkuk is wonderful. Habakkuk complains, God answers, he complains, God answers, and finally he realizes that no matter what the circumstances may be, the Lord is still sovereign. And in addition to his sovereignty, God has promised us that this life on earth is going to be difficult and we are to rejoice in Him always, no matter what the circumstances.

These are just a few examples of the prophets and how they can help in situations that we face today. I know that this was great for me to hear, especially because suffering and salvation are not issues that have just disappeared from struggle in my life, as well as others (just to name a few of the struggles that we all have). It is also so fascinating to see how the prophets fit into the history of the Bible, and how spot on they all are. There are so many prophecies made about the Messiah coming that are always accurate, and there are tons of prophecies made about the coming of Christ and the end times. If we know that all of these prophets were correct in regards to Jesus, why do we not trust that they will also be accurate in what is to come? Well, that’s our flesh, and that’s something I struggle with daily… yeah that’s still an understatement. But how great that we have something such as Scripture to cling to, but more importantly, how wonderful that we have a God to cling to. A God that does not lie, promises us eternity, if we only follow Him. If only I would open up the pages of my Bible and read the promises that He has freely given.

“And he said to me, ‘Son of man, listen carefully and take heart all the words I speak to you.” Ezekiel 3:10”

A Phone Call Away from Eternity

Sun, 04 Dec 2011 23:55:00 -0500

It’s been almost 3 months since I’ve been down here in Branson. That’s 3 months that have felt extremely short, but yet have felt like an eternity. That’s 3 months that I haven’t been in Lawrence, Kansas. Therefore, 3 months that I have been surrounded by believers 90% of the time, verses the exact opposite of the environment I was around last year.

Anyone that knows me knows how much I love my Jayhawks (love might just be an understatement). But it’s safe to say that I didn’t always love being at KU because of the environment. KU is a university that has more accumulated members in atheist clubs, than in Christian Ministries, so needless to say, KU is a little different than this setting. It wasn’t until coming here though, that I realized how thankful I am for that place and the time that I had there. I was able to develop relationships with people that did not know the Lord and the gift of his Son, some that I have been so blessed to maintain. However, I realized this past week that I had been friends with these individuals for some time, but had yet to really explain to them anything about what I believe. I had been blessed to have conversations with some of them, but I had a deep fear about sharing my relationship with Christ with them. Yet, the irony in this is that I was unashamed to stand up for the Lord in a large classroom setting, but when it came down to friends, I have been terrified. I was always scared that they wouldn’t want to be a friend to me anymore, that I would freak them out, or that they would think that I was just another one of those “crazy Christians”. It wasn’t until this past week when we discussed evangelism and sharing our faith with others, that I became convicted of this fear.

The fear of sharing my faith with some of my friends back home became unreasonable to me when I realized that if I truly said that I loved these people, then I should love them enough to care for their eternal state. Just dwelling on that thought, was convicting enough. Knowing that we had an assignment to go out and evangelize was wonderful, but I thought that going out into the community was important, but not nearly as imperative as one relationship I have with a friend back home.

There is a wonderful friend that I have had since my freshman year of college. I won’t go into the details of our friendship, other than we differ big time in regards to religion and spirituality. But, she has been one of my best friends in college because of her loyalty to the people that she loves, and so many other Christ-like qualities in her (but yet she is unaware of the fact that they are Christ-like). I couldn’t think of a better person to call, especially since she had called me the previous week and I had yet to call her back and simply catch up. I’ll be completely honest; I was absolutely terrified before I called her. Oh, but the fear that left me when I finally felt the overwhelming peace of the Spirit.

The beginning of our conversation was the same as they’ve always been: goofy, quick little life updates, and just remembering certain things that we did together at KU. But the conversation took a surprising turn, that can only be explained by the Spirit; she paused and said “Em, I need to be honest with you about something” (safe to say that my heart was pounding so loud I am pretty sure she heard it through the phone) “Emily, something is different this year. I feel like something has been missing not having you and Susie (yeah, girls name isn’t Susie, changed that for all parties to maintain anonymity) around this year. There’s something different, I don’t know what it is. So thanks, not sure what I’m thanking you for, but thanks”. I knew exactly what she was missing: the Spirit of the Lord. “Susie” and I were the only 2 believers she had ever been around in college. I can’t explain it, but I immediately started crying on the phone. One, I was so humbled to know that the Lord did His work through me and “Susie” and we didn’t even know it. Two, my friend noticed that something was missing, and three, the Lord was providing me with such a sweet opportunity to tell her what she was missing, and that is exactly what I did.

I was honest and told her that what she was missing has everything to do with the fact that “Susie” and I pursue Christ. This then led into a series of other talks, even going as far as sexual purity within relationships and what that is supposed to look like. We didn’t go into the depth that I would have liked to (selfish want of course), but the richness that came from this Spirit guided conversation absolutely rocked the rest of my day. For the first time in 4 years, she asked questions and I simply told her my heart behind what I believe and why. I couldn’t help but wonder why I hadn’t shared these things with her before! All that I know is that Lord’s timing is perfect, and that I am an impatient, prideful, and fearful woman. Do I think that she is a Christian after our conversation? Absolutely not. But I do know that I hope to continue to have conversations with her, and pray that I can rid myself of fear, and to recognize that if I claim to love her, I should desire to share this with her so much, because I want to have her with me in eternity. I believe that this is the key to evangelism, the spark must be love, loving God’s children so much that we desire for them to all know Him as He knows all of us.

“I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may know that you have eternal life.” 1John 5:13

The Church

Sun, 20 Nov 2011 18:10:00 -0500

It’s official; I have been living in a bubble for the past two months. Alright, so this comes as no surprise to me, but I am finally seeing the reality of this. I came back to Lawrence, Kansas on Saturday and will spend time here until Monday. It’s safe to say that I haven’t forgotten the hardships I faced there for 4 years, but I have repressed them. Since being back and getting the opportunity to talk with girls with what they have been dealing with this semester, and hearing about the campus in general, I feel like my heart is right back where it was in May: feeling persecuted.

I went to coffee with one of my close friends yesterday and she was sharing with me how much she has been attacked for her faith on campus so far this semester. She continued with just sharing how difficult it is to be a Christian, to stand firm in her faith, and to fulfill the Great Commission. She was also quick to add that in the midst of the persecution that she’s feeling, she has never felt that the Spirit was more alive on the campus. I couldn’t help but smile from ear to ear! All I could think about when she was telling me all of this was: “Girl, if you only knew how the church started and what it dealt with”! Thankfully, I didn’t have to simply think that much more, I was blessed with the opportunity to share with her what we had been learning about the previous week and reassure her that everything she was feeling, the early believers have felt (to an even greater magnitude).

Sitting there in a coffee shop on Massachusetts Street, I began to explain the early church. I began with the Great Commission (Matthew 28:19-20). Christ was specific in telling the disciples that they had a duty: to spread the gift of the resurrection and to begin teaching others. The formation of the church continues through the book of Acts. The book of Acts paints a beautiful picture of what the church is supposed to look like. It is to be unified, one body, one Spirit, but different parts (see 1Corinthians 12 for more on one body and different parts). However, in the midst of this encouragement was incredible persecution. The early church faced unbelieving Jews that were out to absolutely destroy them (I think I’ve been persecuted, whew). The first martyr for the church was Stephen. He was stoned to death in Jerusalem, and from this point on the leaders of the church realized that it was time to spread outside of Jerusalem. Peter sends out many to other areas of the world, James instructs those going out in his book, and Saul is later converted to Paul and is one of the leading missionaries in that time. The early churches faced heavy persecution, heresy within them, and justifications. Therefore, letters of instruction were written to people to encourage them and to teach them how to start churches, maintain what Christ had taught in His lifetime, and to encourage them in their foundation. It’s amazing to see how far the church has come from this point, good and bad. There have been more branches that have sprouted from the church because of the dispersion in the beginning of the church. There has also been persecution throughout the years, but through those times that is when the Spirit has been alive. The irony, between what was happening then and between what my friend was describing was more than incredible.

The cycle never ends, but how encouraging that in times of persecution that is when the Spirit is most alive. The church is supposed to be an encouraging environment, the body is called to support one another in times of persecution. The greatest thing that I learned this week is how much we can learn from the times of the foundation of the church: the Lord is always faithful, we’re going to have trials, but without the those difficulties, we would never be able to rightly come together and be the church that we are called to be.

“All the believers were together and had everything in common.” Acts 2:44

Leadership

Sat, 29 Oct 2011 18:41:07 -0400

One of my favorite games as a child was Follow the Leader, funny how the name has stuck around (hint, hint blog title). I loved the game, but didn’t so much love the following part; I thoroughly enjoyed the leading. Even as a young child I knew that I loved having the power, the authority, and command over my peers. Although this was an innocent game, it still implanted a nasty thirst in my heart and gave me a skewed perception of leadership.

The older I have gotten, the more I have learned about good leadership. I have learned from those who were not good leaders of what not to do and visa versa with individuals who displayed wonderful leadership qualities.

This past week we studied the Kingdom Era. I’ll just say it: there were some messed up dudes. There were evil kings, both in the North (Israel) and the South (Judah), but thankfully there were guys that seemed to get it: serve and submit to the Lord, and will lead (with His help) wonderfully. From reading about these guys, it was easy to see the qualities that a good leader possesses. The kings that were righteous were ones who humbled themselves before the Lord and their people. They recognized that they were able to lead more effectively when they humbled their hearts to the Lord’s guidance. They did not show pride in their own authority, but realized that they were nothing on their own; they needed the direction of the Lord. In addition to humility, respectable leadership also means that one must learn to serve those that they are leading. One of the greatest things that I saw in studying this era was when a king was willing to care for those that were considered “lower” than them in society. This leadership quality applies to leaders today. One of the greatest bosses I’ve ever had, showed this quality in that he would never ask me or anyone to do something unless he had done it himself, or if he would do it with us at the same time. He was also quick to lend a helping hand. The biggest thing that he did, that is so key to quality leadership, is that he led by example. One of the best thing that a leader can do is to lead others from the back: by encouraging, leading by example, and letting people learn from their own mistakes. The key do being a good leader is to lead, not to boss. Those kings that understood this and strived for humility before the Lord, led Judah well, effectively, and honorably.

Although there were great leaders in this era (not very many though), they still do not even come close to the leader that we have in our God. Oh how powerful, righteous, forgiving, patient, and honorable is our God. From studying the Kingdom era, all of these qualities of the Lord became so much more rich in my mind. Through all of the poor leaders, God exemplified himself as a righteous judge. He did not let them go unpunished, but He did not simply judge for no reason. God showed incredible patience with leaders that had no desire to seek His instruction. God also showed His incredible power and sovereignty throughout the entire era. He let kings fail, yet still showed his control throughout the entirety. He provided for those that loved Him and judged those who sinned against Him.

Studying this era opened my eyes to the fact that I have got to refocus my eyes on the ultimate leader. I say that I strive to follow Him daily, but I fail miserably. Oh how sweet He is to forgive me. Also, how kind He is to provide me with leaders in my life that have reflected Him, and therefore helped me to get a small glimpse and reminder of who He is.

Thank you Lord for being my ultimate leader. For letting me fall, for judging me righteously, for being the ultimate authority in my life. Forgive me for sinning against you, find all that is destructive in me, lead me in the way everlasting.

“Search me, O God, know my heart. Test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me and lead me in the way everlasting.” Psalm 139:23-24

Marriage, yep that word

Sat, 22 Oct 2011 20:26:00 -0400

Dear five-year-old Emily- present day Emily,

You used to play “wedding” in your backyard. You would drag the boys in the neighborhood, the boys that you would usually be blowing things up with, and make them play the groom in your backyard wedding. You would then progress into playing house, you taking care of the kids (baby dolls of course), and poor Thomas, the usual victim chosen to play husband, would “mow the yard”. The older you got, the more intricate your vision for weddings began. By the time you were in middle school, you knew exactly the type of guy that you wanted to marry, the dress you wanted to wear, and exactly every last detail regarding that special day. But what you neglected to think about was what marriage actually entailed. For one, most of your life you were not a servant of Christ. However, you believed that marriage was the peak of success in your life. That was your life goal. You expected to meet a man that was perfect; you set unreal expectations, and figured that all would be well as soon as marriage came along. You neglected to think about the actual covenant of marriage, you failed to think past the wedding day. What else were you supposed to think when this is the idea that the world shoves down your throat and drills into the deepest realms of your heart? This was your state of thinking, until your mentor in college sat you down and told you the real deal. Oh how floored you were your freshman year of college when you learned the reality. However, the older you have gotten, the more you have learned. This past week you learned all about marriage. You took away quite a bit of knowledge, so much so that you almost felt that you were going to explode at one point. There were certain things that stuck out to you in regards to marriage and certain things that you hope to implement into your own marriage one day, assuming this is what the Lord’s will is for your life. Thanks for opening your heart to learning new things and having your world rocked.

Sincerely,

Current Emily that is about to explain what in the WORLD just happened this week

Throughout the week, we had various speakers come and teach on emotional IQ, personality tests, and of course marriage. My eyes were once again opened to the Biblical reality of marriage. From all of the various lectures I was able to recognize what were some of the most important things that I learned about marriage in general. Five of the most important things that I continuously felt impacted by were the necessity for frequent prayer in a marriage, constant communication, there are to be absolutely no secrets, marriage is not the pinnacle of life, and the love between a husband and wife is to be reflective of the relationship between Christ and the church.

I never really knew the importance of prayer in marriage. This was never something that I was taught. The intimacy of prayer helps a married couple to be more connected. As well as communication, if there is no communication about feelings, conflict, etc, nothing will be solved. In addition to communication, making sure that there are no secrets and safeguards set in place for marriage are key. There should be openness within the relationship and no need to have secrets. I also was able to be affirmed in the fact that marriage does not mean perfection. It means that there are two human beings that are being united in a covenant and it is going to be difficult. Marriage does not eliminate problems, but it does allow a new opportunity to draw closer to the Lord. This brings me to the final point. Ephesians 5 emphasizes that men are to love their wives as Christ loved the church, and the women are to love their husbands as the church loves Christ. Knowing this, it should seem obvious that this love is deep, rich, and beautiful, but there are going to be difficulties that arise. There are difficulties in our relationship with the Lord, and marriage is no different. However, it is how we pursue the Lord throughout the entirety of the marriage that will allow the union to flourish in a Godly, Biblical manner.

Learning these things about marriage, I was able to take away things that I would like to apply to my own marriage one day, Lord willing. The first being prayer. Prayer is so incredibly powerful, unfortunately I don’t have enough room to go into the importance of prayer in this post, but oh the fruit that comes from prayer. Therefore, praying with my husband will draw us closer to one another, as well as the Lord. The second is communication. In a world that is lost in technology, I hope that I can communicate with my husband on a more intimate, verbal level. One way that I hope to do this is to pick a certain night during the week in which we can ask each other questions, discuss the week, and discuss other topics that are imperative to the marriage. Third, by having no secrets I hope that my husband and I can establish a deep trust that reflects that of the Lord. There may be drastic steps that we need to take, but if it is going to save the marriage and if it honors the Lord, then that is what must be done. As mentioned previously, I pray that we can both strive to love each other as Ephesians 5 emphasizes. I pray that I can strive to love Christ in him, and to recognize that I cannot change him, but continue to love him. Finally, I know for me this is extremely important, I would hope to learn to laugh with him. I know that saying to have a “fun” marriage is somewhat broad, but I just pray that the joy of the Lord radiates through the marriage and we can learn to laugh at certain situations and ourselves. By having the joy of the Spirit we can strive not only for laughter and joy within the home, but also be joyful in knowing that are names are written in heaven and together we are striving to be conformed to His image daily. With all of this being said, these are goals for a marriage that is not promised to me. If it is the Lord’s will for me to be married, then I will be content, but I pray that if I am called to be single that I can embrace that path as well. The beautiful thing about learning about marriage this week is that it taught me, most of all, to constantly be seeking the Lord first and foremost. Marriage does not complete me, a husband does not complete me, clothes, shoes, sports, etc, will never complete me! Only the Father in heaven is big enough to do so and until a time comes up where this could be a possibility, that is all that I can strive to dwell on.

“That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.” Genesis 2:24

God Knows What He's Doing

Tue, 11 Oct 2011 15:58:27 -0400

I was reading my little devotional the other night before I went to bed and the message hit me like a bag of bricks:

“It’s easy to thank God when he does what we want. But God doesn’t always do what we want. Ask Job. His empire collapsed, his children were killed, and what was a healthy body became a rage of boils. From whence came this torrent? From whence will come any help? Job goes straight to God and pleads his case. His head hurts. His body hurts. His heart hurts. And God answers. Not with answers but with questions. An ocean of questions…After several dozen questions… Job has gotten the point. What is it? The point is this: God owes no one anything. No reasons. No explanations. Nothing. If he gave them, we couldn’t understand them. God is God. He knows what he is doing. When you can’t race his hand, trust his heart.” -Max Lucado Grace for the Moment, Volume 1

Wham, did it hit me. I so often feel that God owes me an explanation for what He is doing in my life. I think that He owes me an explanation when things don’t go the way that I thought they would, when I can’t control my emotions, when I am some where I don’t desire to be. Gosh, I am just beyond convicted by my selfishness through it all. All I seem to think of is me, me, me… I forget to delight myself in the Lord (Psalm 37:4).

All I know is that it’s fall, the leaves are changing, it’s beautiful, I am here studying the Lord’s word, He has a PERFECT plan for me, and that He loves me… no matter what. I am quick to notice things that may seem wrong, but neglect to dwell on the fact that God loves me enough to send His humble Son to die for me. I forget that God has got a pretty good grip on this whole “life thing”, He’s got a plan for me, and I need to quit trying to figure the dang thing out! It’s exhausting and there’s no use in me trying to plan my own life. My life would SUCK if I had to plan it out (thank you Jesus, phew). It’s time I stop worrying about what I want and focus on His divinity and sovereignty. For me to refocus, I gaze upon His creation, and stand in awe…

Yesterday evening, I went out to a “scenic view”, stepped out of the car, and gazed upon miles and miles of trees, rolling hills, lakes, and a STUNNING sunset. The sun hit the water and trees just right. It was right after it had rained, so there were still rolling clouds in the distance. I immediately began to weep and fell to my knees! I was literally floored by the beauty of God’s creation! I could barely catch my breath as I began to think about the fact that God put so much effort into creating this stunning sight, therefore, how much more does He care about the path He’s paved for me?! At that moment I forgot all the worries I had and felt such a peace. I knew that God has complete control over my life, and EVERYTHING… I stared once more at the scene in front of me and began to think about what heaven will look like. If the beauty of fall brought me to my knees, made me ball my eyes out, and took my breath away, how much more gorgeous will heaven be?! Oh I just can’t wait to find out!

Before I got back into my car, I gave the view one more good look, took a deep breath, and smiled. There is such a joy knowing that the Lord loves me more than that view, He has a plan for me that will surpass anything that I could devise on my own, and He is always with me… every step of the way. I’m so blessed to be loved by a Father that cares about me enough to challenge me, bless me, and to bring me to my knees. Thank you Lord, thank you for being YOU.

“Surely I spoke of things I did not understand; I talked of things to wonderful for me to know.” Job 42:3

Learning How to Read

Fri, 30 Sep 2011 19:49:00 -0400

It was about 5 years ago that I cracked open my Bible and truly desired, for the first time, to know what was in it. I remember staring at it and having absolutely NO clue where to start. I had been an “American Christian” my whole life (meaning, I said I was Christian ‘cause that’s what America seems to do…), but had never truly understood what in the world was in this book. I couldn’t have even told you what the name of the 4 gospels were, let alone any of the other books… all I knew was that I believed that Jesus wanted a relationship with me and this was the book where I could learn more about that.

I look back at that time and look at where I am at now and could literally burst into tears. The Lord has been so sweet to me, so patient with me, as I have learned, slowly, how to read this treasured, beautiful, life-changing book that I know hold so dearly. Just a few days ago the Lord was sweet to me again, as well as 70 other students, to provide us with a speaker by the name of David Lawson who works for Precept Ministries to come and teach us how to study our Bible inductively. Brotha, humbled me to say the least.

I hate to admit this, but before David Lawson came I was somewhat prideful in my “Biblical knowledge”… I literally want to crawl up in a ball when I say that because it makes me sound so awful, but praise Jesus he came, I was confronted and convicted of yet another sin and blessed with the opportunity to be humbled and ask forgiveness. I don’t know why I was prideful other than the fact that it may have stemmed from being at the University of Kansas (Rock Chalk Jayhawk) for 4 years, a place where NO ONE knows jack-squat about the Bible… and doesn’t want to. Therefore, if I wanted to fulfill the Great Commission, I had to know what I was walkin’ and talkin’ about. So I did everything I could think of to learn and to know what was in the Word, so I thought. I took classes, over the course of my junior and senior years of college, through various churches and organizations such as: Women of the Bible, a basic Apologetics class, Are the Gospels Reliable, Science and how it proves Christianity, Paul and his Missionary Journey’s, Evolution vs. Creation, and Theories on End Times. Needless to say, most of the time I was the only under the age of 30 in these classes… and boy was I over my head more times than not. But once again, because of this my pride seeped in, as well as another sin: beginning to love Theology more than Jesus. I was learning all this great information, but often neglecting to read and dwell on the Word. I was desiring for wisdom through these classes and concepts verses what the Bible said. I had still never been taught how to really study my Bible.

David Lawson’s lesson on inductive Bible Study opened my eyes up to a whole new way to really delve into the Word of God. He began by describing 3 key components to Inductive Bible Study: Observation (do a quick read and record initial thoughts), Interpretation (break down scripture, discover what God is saying), and then Application (read it, and start walkin’ the walk). He emphasized, that inductively studying your Bible is a slow process, but with these 3 steps, believers can gain so much more out a study. He also stressed the importance of always asking “Who, What, When, Where, Why, How” when reading a book, or passage in the Bible. Lawson explained two key components of studying inductively that really stuck with me: context and key words/lists.

All too often we seem to misquote scripture in order for it to “fit”, so that it can be more relatable to whatever we may be going through. Lawson explained that context is crucial in studying inductively. If we take things out of context it can change the entire meaning, and not use it the way that God intended it to be used. For example, Jeremiah 29:11: “For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” It’s a great verse, but it is not discussing me, or anyone else, personally. God is affirming the Israelites in exile that they will return home; He has not forsaken them. Yes, we can take this verse and apply it to God’s faithfulness for all of our lives, but it is important to recognize the context: His communication with the Israelites. This is still a wonderful verse, but taken out of context it changes the entire meaning… key words do the same.

Lawson explained the importance of discovering key words in specific passages or books. In class we went through the book of Titus and one of the key words, or two, we used were good deeds. We went through and marked every usage of both of these words. By doing this, more revelation about what God was intending to say: our belief determines our deeds, they come from purity, Christ has redeemed us from all of our lawless deeds, and we should be eager to perform good deeds to honor our Father! In addition to marking good deeds, we also made lists about God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. Oh did these lists open my eyes to the love, divinity, sovereignty, and goodness that each of members of the trinity have! We were able to so much more about each of these and how they apply to us. The richness that came to the surface after doing this… I was almost in tears in the middle of class reading my lists… I had gotten what I had been desiring for about 6 months… my love for Jesus to overpower my love for theology.

It may sound so pathetic that I was so humbled by an inductive Bible Study, but it restored something in my heart that had been looming for far too long. I was able to open my Bible like I did about 5 years ago… of course with a little more knowledge, but in awe of what I was holding… and oh my goodness, was it humbling. I will never be finished studying the Word, I will never know it all, and I pray, PRAY, that I can continue to hold tightly (literally) to what I have in my arms. Oh the richness the Word provides, the love that it contains, the eternity that it promises…

“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God” John 1:1